Building Healthy Relationships with Food and Body Image: Parenting Differently
Hey fam! 👋
Let’s talk about something super close to my heart—parenting differently than our parents when it comes to food and body image. Because let’s be real, a lot of us grew up hearing phrases like “finish your plate” or “you don’t need that second helping” (yikes, the guilt!). And while our parents meant well, some of those messages left us with some… let’s just say complicated feelings about food and our bodies. I mean, adulting is already hard enough, right? 😩
But guess what? We get to do things differently now. 🙌 We get to raise our kiddos to have a healthy relationship with food and positive body image, without all that pressure to fit into some outdated box of what healthy should look like. Are you with me?
Grab your favorite snack, and let’s dive into how we can raise our littles with balance, love, and a little more self-compassion—and maybe a little less of the "I can't even" vibes when mealtime rolls around. 😉
The Food Rules We Grew Up With (And Why They Need to Go)
Let’s take a trip back to the good ol’ days. Remember the food rules we grew up with? It was pretty much a universal experience:
“Clean your plate or no dessert!” 🍽️
“You know, there are starving kids out there who would love to eat this.” 😬
“Do you really need that second helping?” 🍕
“Are you sure you want to eat that much? You’ll ruin your appetite for later!” 🍰
“I can’t eat that—it’ll go straight to my thighs.” 🙄
Oh, and let’s not forget the endless talk about counting calories, low-fat everything, and working off food like it’s some kind of punishment. 💪
Yeah, remember all that? It’s kind of wild how much of our relationship with food and body image was shaped by these phrases. Whether or not our parents knew it, these kinds of comments planted seeds that grew into a garden full of complicated feelings about food, weight, and self-worth.
And, if we’re being honest, many of us spent years trying to unlearn these patterns. No one needs to feel guilty about eating, stressed about their body size, or like they need to "earn" their food through restrictive diets or crazy workout regimens. It’s exhausting just thinking about it! 😩
But the best part about being a parent today? We get to do things differently. We get to create a new narrative for our kids, one where food is just food (no moral baggage attached), and bodies are celebrated in all their forms. 🙌
Goodbye, “Clean Your Plate” Mentality—Hello, Listening to Your Body
One of the biggest things we’re leaving behind? The clean your plate mentality. Growing up, that was a major rule. You had to finish every single bite on your plate, even if you were full. But all that did was teach us to override our natural hunger signals. So, we’re flipping the script.
🔄 Flip it: Instead of saying, “Finish everything on your plate,” we ask our kids, “Are you still hungry, or are you full?” This way, they learn to listen to their bodies and eat when they’re hungry—not just because food is there.
And trust me, this goes a long way in raising confident eaters who trust their bodies. It might seem small, but that tiny shift in language can help your little ones learn to self-regulate without feeling pressured.
Story Time!
In my time working as a nanny, I often saw how powerful it was to let kids lead when it came to their own hunger. One family I worked with had a toddler who would sometimes eat just a few bites of dinner and say they were done. Instead of pushing them to finish, I would ask, “Are you still hungry, or are you full?” This gave the toddler the space to tune into their own body. Later in the evening, if they felt hungry again, they’d simply ask for a snack. It was such a good reminder that kids naturally know when they’re full, and by trusting them, we can support their self-regulation.
The Magic Behind It
Allowing children to recognize and respond to their hunger cues helps them develop a healthy relationship with food. They learn to trust their own bodies rather than following external rules about when and how much to eat. This approach encourages self-regulation and prevents the power struggles that often happen at mealtimes, creating a more peaceful eating environment for both kids and parents.
No More “Good” or “Bad” Foods (Because We’ve All Been There)
Remember when certain foods were labeled as “bad,” and you’d feel guilty for even wanting them? 🍩 🍕 Same, fam. We’re ditching that whole mindset because food is just food—all of it has a place in a balanced diet.
🔄 Flip it: Instead of teaching that cookies are “bad,” we talk about balance. Some foods give us energy and nutrients, and some foods are for fun—and that’s totally okay. It’s about teaching our kids that all foods can fit into their diet, and no food should make them feel guilty. Bring on the pizza parties and veggie trays, love! 🍕🥕
This also means letting go of the idea that treats need to be "earned" or "deserved." Want a cookie? Enjoy it! Want a salad? Love that too! It's about balance, not restriction.
Story Time!
While working with a family as a parent coach, I had a similar experience with a mom who was worried her child wasn’t eating enough during meals. She used to encourage her child to finish everything on their plate, but after a few coaching sessions, she tried a new approach: offering the food and letting her child decide how much to eat. Soon, she noticed that when her child was in control, they were more likely to finish what they wanted without feeling pressured. The stress around mealtimes melted away, and her child learned to recognize when they were full or still hungry.
The Magic Behind It
By giving kids the freedom to decide when they’re done eating, you help them develop a sense of autonomy and confidence in their own choices. It removes the pressure from mealtimes and helps them develop a healthy, balanced relationship with food. Kids who feel in control of their eating habits are more likely to grow up with a positive mindset around food and body image.
Model What You Want to See (Yep, They’re Watching Us)
Here’s a hard truth: our kids are watching everything we do (seriously, even when we think they’re not paying attention). If they see us criticizing our bodies or talking about food like it’s the enemy, guess what? They’ll start doing the same. But when we model a healthy relationship with food and our bodies, they’re more likely to develop one, too.
🔄 Flip it: Instead of negative self-talk, we say things like, “I’m eating this because it makes me feel good” or “My body is strong and capable.” Show your kids how to enjoy food without guilt and appreciate their bodies for all the amazing things they can do.
Story Time!
I’ve worked with families where parents realized that their own habits around food and body image were being reflected in their children. One mom told me that after hearing her daughter say, "I shouldn’t eat this; it’s bad for me," she knew she had to make a change. We worked together to reframe the language used around food at home. Instead of saying, “I shouldn’t eat that,” they started saying things like, “I’m going to enjoy this because it’s delicious.” It’s amazing how quickly kids pick up on these cues.
The Magic Behind It
Our kids learn by watching us. If they see us embracing our bodies and eating with joy and balance, they’ll do the same. Let’s model the kind of self-love and acceptance we want to pass on—because they’re soaking it all up.
Celebrate Body Diversity (Because We’re Not All the Same and That’s Awesome)
Anyone else remember flipping through Seventeen magazine and feeling like every body looked the same? And not in a way that reflected reality? 🙋♀️ Fast forward to today, and we’re embracing body diversity. Because every body is unique, and that’s something to celebrate!
🔄 Flip it: We teach our kids that bodies come in all shapes and sizes. When your child talks about their body (or someone else’s), remind them how cool it is that everyone is different—and how important it is to respect and love their own body for what it can do. “Isn’t it amazing how all bodies are different and can do awesome things?”
Extra Tip:
Start a conversation when watching TV or reading books that feature different body types. “Wow, look how strong this character is!” or “Isn’t it great how all bodies can do different things?” Reinforcing body positivity is key, especially with the media influence our kids are exposed to.
Make Mealtimes Fun and Stress-Free (Goodbye, Food Battles)
Mealtime doesn’t have to be a battle of wills. I know, easier said than done, right? But here’s the trick: making mealtime fun can change everything. Think about it like this—when eating is relaxed and enjoyable, kids are more likely to develop positive feelings about food.
🔄 Flip it: Turn mealtime into a no-pressure, fun time to connect. Try family-style dinners where kids can serve themselves and choose what they want to eat. Or make a build-your-own taco night where everyone gets to pick their toppings. (Bonus points if there’s guac involved. 🥑)
Story Time!
We often did pizza nights when I worked as a nanny, where the kids got to add their own toppings. It was messy, it was fun, and they were way more likely to eat what they made themselves. Plus, there was no pressure to finish—it was all about enjoying the process. The kids loved it, and mealtimes became something to look forward to.
Practice Mindful Eating (No, Really, Even with Toddlers)
Mindful eating isn’t just for adults with matcha lattes and yoga mats—it’s for littles, too! It’s all about slowing down and paying attention to what we’re eating, how it tastes, and how it makes us feel. It can help kids understand their bodies better and foster a healthier relationship with food.
🔄 Flip it: Start small by asking your kids to check in with their bodies at meals. “How hungry are you right now?” or “What’s your favorite part of this meal?” This helps them connect with their hunger cues—and hey, it makes meals more fun, too!
Embrace Movement (Because It’s About Feeling Good, Not Burning Calories)
We grew up with Buns of Steel and SlimFast, and let’s be honest—exercise often felt more like punishment than fun. 😬 But we know better now, and we’re teaching our kids that movement is something to enjoy, not something to do because they “ate too much.”
🔄 Flip it: Encourage movement because it feels good and is fun—not because they “need to burn off that candy bar.” Whether it’s dancing around to their favorite songs (Baby Shark on repeat, anyone?), playing tag, or jumping on the trampoline, let them move in ways that make them happy. 💃🕺
The Heart of It All ❤️
Here’s the thing, love. The way we talk to our kids about food and bodies is more than just parenting advice. It’s setting them up for a lifetime of confidence, self-love, and balance. And for us? It’s a chance to rewrite our own story, too.
By raising kids who feel good about food, enjoy moving their bodies, and see the beauty in body diversity, we’re not just breaking the cycle of diet culture—we’re creating a future where our kids don’t have to feel like they’re constantly adulting their way through food struggles. And that’s pretty powerful, right?
Takeaway Tidbits 🍬
There you have it—seven ways to build a healthy relationship with food and body image for your littles, while doing it your way (aka, not the way we were raised). 🥳
Remember, it’s not about perfection—it’s about being intentional, compassionate, and showing up for your kiddos with love and balance. So next time you’re around the dinner table or out for a family walk, remember: you’ve got this, and you’re making a difference, one meal and one conversation at a time.
Tea Time! ☕️
What’s one thing you’re doing differently when it comes to food and body image with your kids? I’d love to hear your stories—spill the tea in the comments below, or hit me up with a message. Let’s chat and learn from each other! 💬
